Diary 2011

Januari is already 10 days old and with cold fingers and hot coffee I start my new diary for 2011. Just reading a lot and working on my computer. The cats are inside and if they go out they are back in a few minutes.

thinking a lot about myself lately. With wonder in my eyes I see my old and big womens body. I am old (47) and that is shown now. Getting a lot of wrinkles. The flu is here and I hope I dont get it this time.



Saterday 15 Januari we went to the Abba show in Arnhem.

It was great (for me the second time, first I saw Bjorn Again I believe, have to look that up) to went to an ABBA cover band. I am afraid it is the closest thing to see an ABBA concert....

It was good. I like the backgroundsingers. Expectially Nadine Kȗhn. The whole concert from 1979 was played. Inclusive the Girl with the Golden Hair and I am still alive. A great night it was. And yes I want to be an Abba cover girl!


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In a lot of places they have a flood.Heartbreaking stories from Australia where the flood is so worse. You see horses on roofs of houses. About a boy who let first save his younger brother and he died. About a dog in Brazil who stay guard by his owner's grave... So heartbroken stories and this is only a few.

We have also a flood here. And sunday it was shown so clearly how much power water can have. Often we control water and river. This time it is our boss..

Normally a parking place in Zutphen, about 30 km from us.

I parked my taxi in the past here.

From the water: the IJssel

Januari 30....

The last few days I start to write the Elisia story again. It is hard to focus on the story cause often I search for the road that feels right. But I am writing again!

Februari is the Celebration month of the GuestbookButterflies. Pity to say there arent many left... I hope somehow it will change with more butterflies who love to sign guestbooks. They are so needed!

I heard it a little while ago. So totally in disbelieve. Nathalie died. Suicide.She was a wosibsister and took part in almost every womens group. It was her who I hold her hand when Wosib stops...

I love pagemaking and I do it often (for sad occasions or celebrations) and she was the leader of it. She suddenly stops cause her computer crashed. I always hope she could find the money to come back with a new computer but that didnt happend. Guess I had to write her but only I know she lived in Sweden....Her homepage is gone and the memories on the wosibchapter on this homepage remains...

I always loved how she tagged. So wonderful and yet so simple. I miss her.

Februari 23

Lately I listen to the music of the TV serie Fame. It was on the air from 1982 till 1987. My favorite is Valerie Landsburg but I love everyone.

In that time everyone dreams to be a star. I did. Some of the background dancers I saw in A chorus line. Some time ago I wonder how they went and discover the sadness at that time. Some of them died of Aids, I never realized how cruel that illness is, leaving empty spaces behind in the world of dance. Some of the people who played in Kids from Fame died of illness or being killed or some stupid accident.. You can read all of this here: http://www.fameforever.com/memorial.php

What a tragic was there behind the spotlights.


March 23

Today beautiful weather. I was sitting outside in the sunshine. I wasnt the only one. One of my cats Buffy enjoyed the spring day too.

Time flows on

The passage of time does not matter to you. It only matters to the body you inhabit and the material artifacts with which you surround yourself.

Wisdom grows upon itself in an ever-expanding manner. There is always room for more, and there always will be.

Beauty becomes more beautiful as you connect more intensely to it. Life increases in fulfillment as it is lived.

Time does not add or subtract or create or destroy anything on its own. Time merely spaces out your perception of what is always real, and gives you the opportunity to experience it all to the fullest extent.

As quickly as the old times flow away from you, new times flow toward you. Each new moment brings even more possibilities than the moment that has just passed.

Time flows on. And as it does, you can continue to fill your world with the best that life can be.

Found in my mail:


     These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

  ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

  WITNESS:     He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'

  ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?

  WITNESS:     My name is Susan!


  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

  WITNESS:     Yes.

  ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?

  WITNESS:     I forget..

  ATTORNEY:  You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


 ATTORNEY:  Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

  WITNESS:  Did you actually pass the bar exam?

  ATTORNEY:  The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?

  WITNESS:      He's 20 , much like your IQ.

  ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?

  WITNESS:     Are you shitting me?


  ATTORNEY:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

  WITNESS:     Yes.

  ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time?

  WITNESS:     Getting laid


  ATTORNEY:  She had three children , right?

  WITNESS:     Yes.

  ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?

  WITNESS:    None.

  ATTORNEY:   Were there any girls?

  WITNESS:      Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?


 ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?

  WITNESS:     By death..

  ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?

  WITNESS:     Take a guess.


  ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?

  WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard

  ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?

  WITNESS:     Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.


ATTORNEY:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

  WITNESS:  No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


 ATTORNEY:  Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

  WITNESS:     All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.


  ATTORNEY:  ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?

  WITNESS:     Oral..


ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

  WITNESS:     The autopsy started around 8:30 PM

  ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

  WITNESS:     If not , he was by the time I finished.


 ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

  WITNESS:     No.

  ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?

  WITNESS:     No.

  ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?

  WITNESS:     No..

  ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

  WITNESS:     No.

  ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?

  WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

  ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

  WITNESS:     Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.  

April 22

Today I was making some tree pictures and the first photo's I made was this swan. I like these animals.

In silence I made these pictures and go my way.

May 15

Spring this year is dry and sunny. The cats dont come inside cause they find their places in the garden. My garden blooms and is so full.  This lamb is already big and soon you cant tell soon if it is a young one or second or more years.

June 8

Lately I am busy with my garden and the update. See also http://www.hearttreasures.nl

But also starting something on http://theheartfriendship.org/  I hope it will show soon. Everything on Guestbookbutterflies went well. I am so happy with that. We are starting by paining our house. That is so necessary! It is a huge job that ask for weeks!

I love Arnhem (always has) and on a cold and rainy friday in June I was walking and enjoying this city that is about 30 miles from where I live. Old buildings next to new ones and the tramps in the park... But I enjoyed the time that was unfortunally limited....


What happened when you  place an apple in the grass and wait on a little distance with a photocamera?


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When I had a nightshift (now two nightshfits in weekends) I love to walk around the next day (still feeling not that great) and have a lot of fresh air. We walked around in Germany and took some food in a restaurant.

This tower is standing by the mall in Bocholt Germany


Finally I finished the look of this homepage. The last piece was the hardest one. I tried for a while to fit the links in the menu but cant get everything good on the shell. I dont know yet if I keep it this way but for now I let it be.

Wish you a good journey on this homepage

My birthday flower

Every year on my birthday this flower blooms. From a small seed from guineapigfood I took it and now they are blooming and will be on my birthday

Princess Diana 1961-1997.

Died on my Birthday


September 14

Autumn is coming here in the Netherlands. We had a bad summer and only a few sunny and hot days. I wish for a golden summer.

I guess (seeing the dog) it is better to stop driving :-)

What a great calender this is: found thanks to Tina Kay on http://lilpixeldreams.com/


I was enjoying the trees and saw this golden leave above in the old oaktree

And the sunshine makes this leaf golden. This call for a webset (see soon http://www.reginadesign.nl )

Autumn Visit to a monument

From Moon and Back I got this great picture in Autumn Colours

In america a graveyard full of graves from soldiers

In the Netherlands I was visiting Westerbork. http://www.kampwesterbork.nl/welcome/ A place where the germans in WW2  where the jewish people, gypsies and people who fight the germans and more are taken here and went then to the destruction camps. Anne Frank was one of them.

On this autumn day I was walking here on this spot where so many years ago a lot of pain and tears and hope that must be changed in despair for all those people who didnt know what to expect and if they see their family and friends.  107000 people was kept here and only 5000 survived.

commandant building from Albert Konrad Gemmeker

How it looked like...

They must dismantle batteries and on the place where the batteries where kept didn't grow anything for a long long time

Every stone for every person who died

Remains of the buildings.

With tears in my heart and eyes I left this place. This must never been forgotten!

Yesterday my boyfriend and I went to the restaurant to eat and it was great and delicious. So pity I cant eat more. The desert I never take cause I have more than enough before.  We walked home and I could sleep after that. Ofcourse I didnt but I went to bed really early and sleep so deep and long.  I needed that.

We have now 3 weeks of 2011,  then another year begins. I soon send the christmascard out to many places in the world.

Almost every day I work on the harp. I have harplessons now and learning the notes. Not easy for me and I wonder often why I choose not a easy instrument to play. I want to buy a harp for myself but they are expensive. You see here the harp I hire. Pity I cant buy it. Even this harp is not cheap. Slowly I know more about the music and I like it. Wish I do it YEARS ago (When I was young) and I had maybe a carriere in the music.

December- Harp talk!

Now I have an old harp to play with and already the hire harp is back to the musicschool.

Here you see both of them. The light wood harp is the hire harp. It has 36 strings.

The other one (mine) is 20 years old and it s a Camac Morgane. It counts 34 strings. It is a gift!







Digitally painted scrolls:  purchased from Jaguarwoman