Diary 2009


~Welcome 2009~

Januari 12

Already 2009 is almost two weeks old. The start of 2009 marks the break from my computer and it took me a week to get it working. Now I am updating and installing...

If you read this, please make backups!

I have so much to do and don't know where to start.

2009 starts with cold. I think in the last 12 years we didnt have that much cold. Rivers where frozen and the snow lies on the streets and in our garden.. Now it slowly melting but it takes days before everything is gone..

januari 18

The last days in the news. Obama comes to the white house. I am glad he is president and hope he does a lot of good. Obama starts with huge trouble. America and the rest of the world face big crisisses. This year we have the worst in our country (Holland) Already I have big trouble....

And everyone is glad the plane landed safetly on the Hudson River. Everyone was calm and there was no panic. Wonderful!

Februari 4

This month we celebrate our first Year of Fluttering by Guestbook Butterflies!

A year ago I was thrilled, afraid when I start the adventure but it went well! A lot of Guestbooks to sign. We have now 5 Butterflies and I hope to get some more but the Butterflies are so wonderful and faithful!

  for you


Februari 20

When februari started I got the flu and continue to work. I healed slowly and a week later (now) the flu is visiting me again. Not that heavy as the first time but not feeling well either.....

Just placed online the new set for the Guestbookbutterflies and after some weeks of struggle and trying, trying and trying I feel very happy about this.

Fido my red cat is now so sweet and he wants always with me. On his age he gets not that frightend anymore and stay mostly inside. I must say it is a cold winter so I think in spring and summertime he will be a gardencat again!

April 3

Spring is begun and at first the weather is great. All kinds of first flowers are flowering now: the daffodils, the Muscari armeniacum and all kinds of green pops up. As always a celebration and a returning welcome from my plants to me:-)

Just finished the new homepage. Only I must think of a new, much better written poem on the first index page....

Hope you like it!

April 25

Meanwhile the garden is green and some flowers are flowering and the rest follow soon. As every year it is a return of old friends.

There is a lot of work in the garden now.

And I must say.....it has been weeks now I worked at the Elisia story. I miss it but don't find any time to add some more. I must also carefully think what I write next.

Hope somehow I can write more...

I want to watch the DVD version of Lord of the Rings.


May 22

In parts I watched the long versions of Lord of the Rings. So great. Every year I read the books and now the first one: Fellowship of the Ring is waiting now.

Now I read the last pages of Anne Spoerry, she worked as a flying doctor in Kenia. Great woman, great story!

And sorry to say: I didnt wrote yeat something more on Elisia...

June 9

this is so funny:


and this remind me of the nag nags Zebra Finch - Taeniopygia guttata -  we have


this is funny too


June 29

She is still living in my head Elisia but so far I didnt write more on her story. I added my booklist and the songs that are playing in my head. Hot and tropical weather will visit the Netherlands in the next days.

August 2

This I received from a great friend LM

1. Never put yourself last.

2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not to kick someone else in the teeth.

3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.

4. Count your blessings every day.

5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.

6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.

7. Strive for progress, not perfection.

8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.

9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.

10. Don't close your heart so tightly against life's pain that you shut out life's blessings.

11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.

12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.

13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.

14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.

15. Cry when you feel like it.

16. Rejoice in other people's triumphs.

Don't wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.

18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.

19. Keep good company.

20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.

21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and give yourself a spark to move ahead.

22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.

23. Remember that one is a whole number.

24. Walk in a summer rain shower without an umbrella.

25. Do a kind deed for someone else.

26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.

27. Be patient.

28. Eat something green.

29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.

30. Walk hand and hand with truth.

31. Make laughter an d joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.

32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.

33. Be zealous, not jealous.

34. Forgive anyone you've been holding a grudge against.

35. Slow down and enjoy the present.

36. Walk in others' shoes before judging them.

37. Send yourself a kind message.

38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection of what you think of yourself.

39. Go on a picnic.

40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.

41. Don't let other people's opinions shape who you are.

42. Say a prayer.

43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.

44. Know when to say no.

45. Look at the positive side of negative situation.

46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.

47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it make them the master and you the slave.

48. Go fly a kite.

49. Avoid fads and bandwagons.

50. Accept the things you cannot change.

51. Look inside instead of outside yourself for answers to life's problems.

52. Remember that all feelings are okay.

53. Shield yourself from bad influences.

54. Stand up for what you believe in.

55. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.

56. Seize every moment and live it fully.

57. Give away or sell anything you haven't used in the past five years.

58. Never downgrade yourself.

59. Take responsibility for what you think, feel, and do.

60. Pamper yourself.

61. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.

62. Let yourself be God powered instead of flying solo.

63. Volunteer to help someone in need.

64. Refrain from overindulging in food, drink, and work

65. Finish unfinished business.

66. Be spontaneous.

67. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.

68. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever you think about expands.

69. Think of yourself as a survivor, not a victim.

70. Cuddle an animal.

71. Be open to life.

72. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.

73. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.

74. When you score a base hit, don't wish it were a home run.

75. Learn to be in the present moment.

76. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.

77. Take a child to the circus.

78. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.

79. Never turn your power over to another person.

80. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.

81. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the future never comes.

82. Live your life according to what is right for you.

83. Acknowledge your imperfections.

84. Plant a tree and watch it grow.

85. See "friend" instead of "enemy" on the face of strangers.

86. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food ten times their weight.

87. Believe in something bigger than yourself.

88. Let the playful child within you come out.

89. Make haste slowly.

90. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.

91. Accept compliments from others so you can see the truth about yourself.

92. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.

93. Don't condemn yourself for your imperfections.

94. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.

95. Tell someone you appreciate them.

96. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.

97. Talk less and listen more.

98. Admit your wrongdoing and forgive yourself for it.

99. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.

100. Affirm all the good things about yourself.

September 2

Another year older, another year wiser....

First is right, second not. My birthday is now behind me and I just give my presents (candles, chocolate, clothes, flowers) their new location. I start the new year with being unemployment and that hurts. I never thought I lost my little children's ride to school. When I found out I was really sick. Had my life build around this job.

And now? Looking for work again. Am old and not much education. It is still crisis time. It is so hard to keep your spirits up when there is not much choice and the bills are coming...

September 19

Autumn has arrived and it bring golden colors. I didn't have the time or energy to see it but I will do it next week. I want to walk in my beloved Forest again and take a long walk. Being in the circle of work, worries and bills and unable to see what happened next week to me makes me tired and more worries are coming. But somehow I can feel sometimes the strength I have. It is my power now and I must trust it and get a hold on work and myself.....

but next week this girl walks in the forest! That is a promise. So time to relax!

Drop a Pebble in the Water

by James W. Foley


Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;

But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,

Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.

And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.


Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,

But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,

And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;

You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.


Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;

But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.

They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,

And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.


Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;

But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,

And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,

And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.


Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;

But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,

Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave

Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.


Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;

But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,

And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard

Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.


Got these wise words from Mary!



You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and believe strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

October 22..

A few months ago I had a great job with schoolchildren from an age or 2 till 5. I grew so into it and I love doing this. But a lot of rides like this stopped and mine also. Now I work in factories and on Saturday nights I still have my taxi rides trying to get ends meet which isn't easy at all these days..

I have 20 years of work for me. And still I don't know what I want and can choose for work. Don't have a high education and

A friend tells me. First go to dreams. What kind of job do you really want. Go to a place of dreams and dream about your choices. Then be realistic. Find out if you can realize this and what is needed for that. Then coach yourself. Do you need an education? If you done this then make a choice.

Okay... think it is a good advise but will it work?

November 9

Today it was a grey day with sometimes rain. Today I decided to walk in my forest. Glad I did. When I arrived I regretted my decision to leave the camera at home. I wanted to walk in autumn and see with my own eyes instead of the camera but the yellow, brown and red leaves was so beautiful.
I made a long walk and saw the beautiful trees and walked almost played with the leaves on the ground and I was alone in the forest. Glad it didn't rain the time I spend in the forest.

It was a relaxing time and wonderful to walk in the forest again. Why do I always wait so long to take another walk?

With still the grey sky I drove home, my head still without answers but more relaxing then I started this day

November 24

As a temporary employee you see a lot of (in my case) factories.

In one (the closest where I live) it was great. I was treated as a person. I stayed there for two weeks. The last one was terrible. The payment was so bad and I was treated as a number, almost as a slave. I stayed there three days and that was too long! Way to long!

Now at the end of this month there is not much work here. I only have the weekends to drive the taxi. I search for temporary jobs cause there are bills to be paid. But so far nothing. I only work at weekends as a cabdriver, the nightshifts...

I had some ideas to get me a job but needed money for education. I don't make it.

What now? When I think of it I get sick in my stomach...

December 13

Have now a temporary job. Don't know how long it last. A part time job in a huge store. And saterdaynights I do the taxi.

Today I restore the pages from Wosib (Women of Strenght and Inner Beauty) and those memories came up. I saw some parts of my old homepage and I miss that time. Wosib  is no longer but it was my door to the net many years ago. I believe in 2002!

A few weeks and then it is 2010!

December 24

Soon and 2009 is over. I so hope 2010 will be much better. My job in the warehouse is soon over and I regret it so much. Finally a place I feel at home and then this message that came out of the blue and hit me hard! With me a lot of other people are in the same situation.

December 31

Listening to the top 2000 (when I can) and thinking so much, worrying about others and about mee too and switching soon 2009 for 2010... I feel melancholic.

Now I say goodbye to this wonderful diary webset too. Saying goodbye and welcomic the new things...

I so hope 2010 will bring some great sparkles and for me a good, steady job! I so need that...

Thank you for listening. I just hugs some things and let it go with a tear in my eye..




Paintings:  This features a compilation of more than one of Penny Parkers paintings.